Thinking about success.

I am supposed to be writing an essay for my Leadership class, about frameworks for success. It has caused me to reflect on the intersection between faith and success in my own life.

One of the most significant moments in ministry, for me, came when one of the young people we had been journeying with stole a car, led police on a high-speed chase, then shot a police officer and killed himself.

He had a history of drug-abuse. He had a history of sketchy mental health. But he had history with us. He’d lived in our community, journeyed through faith and brokenness and healing with us. He was ours. And he wad dead. The newspapers said awful things about him, and we sat around a table, devastated at the loss of his life, and that of the officer, and we wept.

In that moment, I felt like a failure: we had not created a story that glorified God, that justified our ministry, that demonstrated the worthiness of ‘these people’ for the time and resources that we invested. No fruit. No growth. Just pain, and death. It happened all the time – people we loved and journeyed with would leave and go back to that life. And every time, we sat with the grief of lost opportunities and the struggle of finding abundant life. But this young man’s death was particularly tragic end to that cycle.

Years later, another one of the young people I had journeyed with during that time sent me a letter, explaining that he felt compelled to encourage me: a book about Jesus I had given to him, years before, had been passed on to the young man who had died, and it had been the catalyst that led him to meet Jesus.

I was reminded that God seeks relationship – not perfection.
I was reminded that God chose foolish, weak, broken things to confound the wise.
I was reminded that ministry with the people who need Jesus because they are perishing is unlikely to be glossy and victory filled, but that when people meet Jesus, there is victory in eternity, regardless of the appearance.

I am reminded again today that Jesus said that if we want to be great, we have to be a servant of everyone. Success, in Jesus’ mind, is not tied to results and tallies on boards, but on the humble-hearted actions of people motivated by love.